Letters to Kanye Presents: 2015’s Best Awards Show Predictions

Hello reader(s)! …. The “s” there is wishful thinking. Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this you are clearly lost on the internet, Grandma. And as an frail old woman, with dainty sensibilities, I highly recommend you go back now

Letters to Kanye Presents: 2015’s Best Awards Show Predictions

Hello reader(s)! …. The “s” there is wishful thinking. Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this you are clearly lost on the internet, Grandma. And as an frail old woman, with dainty sensibilities, I highly recommend you go back now

George Clooney Has A Dream

Honey! Honey, sweetheart, wake up! What do you mean “who is it” it’s your boyfriend and lover George Clooney. You idiot. I just had the most incredible dream and I gotta tell you about it! It started with me as

George Clooney Has A Dream

Honey! Honey, sweetheart, wake up! What do you mean “who is it” it’s your boyfriend and lover George Clooney. You idiot. I just had the most incredible dream and I gotta tell you about it! It started with me as

The Strange Pineapple House in the Mist – Spongebob as Written by Lovecraft

Waves caressed the shore, as calm as a winkless night, upon the lonely gasp of land and I was forced to call home following the wreck. It was days now since I had last seen another soul, since I had

The Strange Pineapple House in the Mist – Spongebob as Written by Lovecraft

Waves caressed the shore, as calm as a winkless night, upon the lonely gasp of land and I was forced to call home following the wreck. It was days now since I had last seen another soul, since I had

The 7 Circles of My Inferno

The world as we know it is based on rules. Don’t believe me? Try dropping something up, you smartass. Can’t do it, can you? Boom. Rules’d. Yeah science, bitch! We know that the sun will rise in the East and

The 7 Circles of My Inferno

The world as we know it is based on rules. Don’t believe me? Try dropping something up, you smartass. Can’t do it, can you? Boom. Rules’d. Yeah science, bitch! We know that the sun will rise in the East and

A Pokemon Review from the Distant Future

Oominpie, readers! Today is the day!! Yes, June the 45th, 2057, the day the newest iteration of Pokemon finally hits our brain-logs, the highly anticipated Pokemon இ and Pokemon ஐ. And here at Not in Front of the Children (owned

A Pokemon Review from the Distant Future

Oominpie, readers! Today is the day!! Yes, June the 45th, 2057, the day the newest iteration of Pokemon finally hits our brain-logs, the highly anticipated Pokemon இ and Pokemon ஐ. And here at Not in Front of the Children (owned

A Poem for Fall

And ‘lo, Here the first sharp pain in my back, As Prince Autumn stabs the first cold coil into my spine, The Wind piercing, Wrenching, Tearing. Leaves whip, From casts of blusters, Crushing them in the hands of a brisk

A Poem for Fall

And ‘lo, Here the first sharp pain in my back, As Prince Autumn stabs the first cold coil into my spine, The Wind piercing, Wrenching, Tearing. Leaves whip, From casts of blusters, Crushing them in the hands of a brisk

Your Thoughts as Your Game Boy Falls to the Ground

Ohp. Shit. Shit. Well, there it goes. Have a good trip, buddy. It was really nice knowing you. You’ve only fallen millimeters out of my greasy, goblin-like fingers but already your life flashes before my eyes. When I brought you

Your Thoughts as Your Game Boy Falls to the Ground

Ohp. Shit. Shit. Well, there it goes. Have a good trip, buddy. It was really nice knowing you. You’ve only fallen millimeters out of my greasy, goblin-like fingers but already your life flashes before my eyes. When I brought you